Fate( hard to find) Chapter five

Fate( hard to find)
Chapter five
Nwanne Ifeoma
If anyone had told me that I will be hurting this way over Davis, I won’t have believed it. I loved him so much that I never for once thought of breakup but here I am, in this lonely path without him.
It over a month but it still hurts like it happened yesterday. I still remember how he left without turning back, I watched him drove off and ever since then, I have never heard from him was it that easy for him and Why is letting go so hard for me. I wished there was an off switch so I can turn this feeling off.
Every memories we shared together was still fresh in my mind, he promised me forever and I felt for. In my little lost mind I was dreaming of becoming “Mrs Davis” someday, what a shame it was just my imagination and fantasy.
it hard moving on, I still miss him. sometimes I wished I will wake up from this terrible nightmare or for him to walk through that door and tell me it was all a joke.
I want to hate him but I couldn’t because he never treated me bad through out the year we dated he was really good to me and a gentleman. He left a vacuum in my heart, I wished I could call him and asked him if he ever loved me but that would be foolish of me since he made it clear to never to contact him.
The manner in which Davis broke up with me still beats my imagination. Everything was fine between us and there was no sign of pressure but walking up to me and ending everything was still a big shocked. His actions made me question allot about love but what can I say, “I was a daughter of a nobody” and was never meant to be together.
I had to accept the truth and stopped blaming him, he only did what he felt that was right. I don’t think anyone will want to give up that much just for love. It only happens in movies, in reality people will always choose comfort rather than suffering. Who will want to throw away a life of luxury just in the name of love.
I was only disappointed at his parents for judging me based on my background without meeting me or seeing the type of person I was. I was not good enough because I didn’t fit in their social class. They made me understand that love is based on class not heart, it just a valuable lesson they taught me but right now I have to let my broken heart heal and let all Davis memories fade away. It not going to be easy but I know with time I will eventually forget about him and find peace within. Right now there is only darkness but I know I will find my light.
One thing is for sure I will be zeroing my heart from love and pay more attention in getting a decent Job, focus more on myself and family. We have suffered allot after the death of my father, his death changed our lives and mommy had to put up with a whole lot just to make sure my siblings and I get a better life.
I secretly watched my mom cried her self to sleep but still comes out in the morning with a big smile. It was hard but she never wanted us to see it.
My prayers every day is to put smile on her face and take care of her just as she did for us. If only I had a good Job there’s so much more I want to do for her to show her how grateful I am for everything she did and making sure I got educated.
I became more determined to find a job. I needed it more right now to distract me from all the negatives feeling and thought surrounding me.
.T B

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